The game idea

Tolerance Poker serves to shed light on situations in which people interact on an emotional level in order to be able to understand each other better. Such situations can arise from external factors, but also from the behavior or views of those involved in a group or team. Any behavior or view expressed will inevitably trigger emotional reactions in others.

Tolerance Poker helps to exchange ideas about these emotions in order to strengthen the understanding of action and reaction between each other.

What are the scenarios for?

We refer to scenarios as situations for which you want to assess your level of tolerance within your team or group. These can be exemplary or real situations that you have experienced as emotionally moving or that repeatedly lead to friction.

To help you get started, we've collected a few examples here. If you use your own scenarios, make sure to describe the situation clearly and in as few words as possible. Our example scenarios intentionally contain few details, allowing for room for interpretation. Each participant decides for themselves how to use this space when assessing the scenario.

In exchange, it helps mutual understanding greatly if everyone shares the assumptions that formed the basis for the decision.

Attention human!

When using tolerance poker, please be aware that you are revealing the behavior, views, and emotions of others more than is usual in everyday life. This can trigger insults, hurt, or tension that can linger long after the game is over. Therefore, it is essential to create an atmosphere of psychological safety. This includes free consent from everyone, the use of defensive language, and a moderator who knows what they're doing and maintains a neutral position.

You can achieve defensive language by using I-messages, nonviolent communication (NVC), clean feedback and avoiding judgments about others (attitude of humility).

The game process

Game preparation

Everyone who wants to play receives a deck of eight cards. For a good group dynamic, sit or stand so everyone can see each other. It's best to gather around a table or make space in the middle of your group.

Appoint a moderator to guide you through the game. Ideally, this person won't participate. They'll maintain a neutral position and keep track of the situation. They'll ensure everyone understands the questions and has enough time to consider their answers.

Instructions

The game lasts as many rounds as you consider appropriate for your context.

  1. At the beginning of each round, the moderator presents a scenario.
  2. All participants now select the card from their set that best reflects their own reaction to the presented scenario and place it face down in front of them.
  3. Now everyone reveals their cards at the same time.
  4. Each individual takes turns sharing why they placed a particular value on a topic. Who and how many people speak is at the moderator's discretion.

Variant for anonymous voting : In step 3, the moderator collects the cards face down and reveals them together.

The tolerance model

As we have already mentioned, tolerance poker is based on the so-called tolerance model.
Find out more about the model itself, about the structure and about the individual areas of the tolerance model from acceptance to tolerance and resistance. Get an overview and delve even deeper into the matter to create a valuable and all-encompassing basis that will help you successfully use tolerance poker in your teams.

Learn more now